well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
