There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
