my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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