my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
