oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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