Michael Bay diarrhea
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
