I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
