Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
