you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
do herpes really smell.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
