She is in my trunk
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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