I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
