He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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