ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
