im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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