I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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