Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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