OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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