wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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