do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
