I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Congratulations! We have a period
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
