I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
