You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
