I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize