I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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