so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How naked do you want me to be?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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