I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
