he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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