Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just want to make out with him forever
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
