I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize