I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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