WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
