Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
