What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She bit a glass in half.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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