He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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