is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
