you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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