i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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