"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
