some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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