Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
