its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
