So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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