i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Watching her eat just hurts me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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