Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my shit smells like andre
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
