woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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