Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
