idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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