You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
