So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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