hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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