Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
