The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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