I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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