i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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