she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
