why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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