I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
