im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
