And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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