im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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