White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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