New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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