Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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