I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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