he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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